Tuesday, March 20, 2007 @10:37 PM
wish i could say i know how my life is going... and how in control i am of it. but somehow the light ahead seems long and far.. and much as i attempt to fix it.. things are not going at the speed i thought it to be...
-yawnz-
fighting sleep everyday is NOT a good sign.. just heard statistics that lack of sleep makes one FAT! imagine my utter dismay when i stayed at office till 1 am yest to do up a board [think orientation days and posters and wat nots.. u're probably right] with my colleague.. only to tear everything down today and hear my boss say it's not good enough. sheesh. my sleep! tt's my first thought. shld have just gone back to home sweet home.
the road ahead....
it seems long and winding.. but i have no intention to budge from my position. fully intend to work there... for a good 2-3 years. no less. unless i get fired la. haha. i am feeling depressed.. cos i can't plan my days.. i don't have visibility over my schedule over the next day.. let alone the next month. dun get me wrong.. i like what i'm doing. it's just... frustrating at times when i feel like i am controlled by my work and not the other way round.
taking today for example, i had arranged to meet up with my ushers to discuss the latest training schedule for the nrew trainees. thinking that i am gonna zao work at 630pm, or maybe take a cab at 7pm, [cos we are supposed to meet7pm at TM] i shouldn't be too late. Till 1. my boss called for a 6pm meeting which he later shifted up to 5pm. 2. an email sent that required my URGENT attention and prompt reply.. which took me till 830pm. ordinarily, i wouldn't have minded... leaving the office at 9pm to me is godsend. just tt today i had arranged for a meeting! sighs. is there no other life other than work?
just had a discussion with my boss on this issue... and he was just sharing with us how he typically brought work along to do.. even on holidays overseas... has technology caused us to be so efficient in communication, or has it simply taken the fun out of life? i hope i do not sound too disillusioned.. but more of looking for an outlet to vent my frustrations.. all pent up with no avenue is a bad thing...
the discussion went on to social life.. and my colleagues were commenting that i shld quickly get a boyfriend first. else, there's no way i can get one with the crazy hectic work life that it so typical of all executives here. to which i retorted that even if i had one now, he probably would have just broken up with me due to work. hah. let me qualify also that i'm not looking at one now.. though it's a nice thought.. and gd to have.. but me.. now... i can't upkeep my social life.. let alone make time for a boyfriend! and i guess.. right now, my priorities are God, work and family. though it's not exactly in that hierachy, for now i think
the only cheery on the cake is tt i think my boss somehow by God's grace do actually appreciate some of my work. he's been nice to me so far.. haven exactly blown up the way he does to some others.. which i am seriously thankful for. and i guess i wanna use these few years to achieve more. and stretch myself as much as possible. i can only pray tt i do not lose sight of my purpose here.. dun intend to.. and dun want to as well.
am planning for a holiday somewhere in july.. hope that falls into place.. meanwhile.. my life is basically work and more work.